Sorry for not writing in a while — on the one hand, I’ve gotten surprisingly busy working at the internship and applying to more jobs. And on the other hand, I have been learning and re-learning the many lessons of life and introspection that tend to come with moving.
I suppose the main chunk of news is that I still haven’t gotten a job yet. Perhaps somewhere in the back of my mind I assumed that after that last emotional blog post, once I understood God’s message about waiting on His perfect timing, then I would get hired because I had learned all that he intended for me to learn through this trial. But… no. Still waiting. Still working. Still looking.
It’s funny; in most movies and adventure books, when the heroes have to go through the same drudgery day after day, the story generally tends to skip over it to where stuff actually starts happening to them. Repetition and the everyday ordinary isn’t what we want to see when we escape into the tales of old… but if you really think about it, so many of our heroes often have to plod through redundant days of strife before they could get to the good stuff. David had to go camping to hide out from Saul for ages — and the Israelites, for forty years! Imagine wandering for that long; I’m only antsy a month into this!
But I think another reason why I wasn’t writing was because, as encouraging and even somewhat fulfilling it was to hear how well-received my musings are… it’s not enough. Of course it’s not enough; it’s a blog, not a conversation. It’s not face-to-face. Yes, it allows me to express the thoughts that I’ve been unable to express because of my slight isolation… but I’m meant for better. I’m meant for human interaction and friendship. By God’s immense grace (seriously, I didn’t realize until college just how rare a privilege a childhood like mine really was), I grew up knowing nothing but healthy relationships. So, thankfully, now that I’m experiencing loneliness here, I’m aware enough to see it for what it is and to know what I need to counteract it. Not a boyfriend, not better food or more TV or a nice red wine buzz. Just people.
Hence, we will continue my rules about how to travel well with my personal favorite of the list…
4. Bring a Friend
“It is not good for man to be alone.”
I know I kind of discussed this in an earlier blog post, but I want to expound upon it here. Now before I get started, it’s worth mentioning that not everyone need adhere to this rule; when discussing this revelation with my darling introverted sister Anna, we laughed because she admitted that company was not near the top of her things-to-bring-on-a-trip list. And honestly, until this summer I assumed that I didn’t need other people, either.
According to most personality tests I’ve taken, I’m just about half-introvert and half-extrovert. I can handle crowds without breaking a sweat, but I need some time to myself everyday, too. I was the sort of person who didn’t take the well-worn path or the road less traveled by; I just took the road that would get me to my destination the fastest, and whoever happened to be going that way too was good company for however long it lasted.
But coming to New York, where all of my connections were pretty much only friends of friends… I came to see new meaning in that classic quote from Genesis, “It is not good for man to be alone.” I grew up in a huge family and a huge extended family and even went to a college dorm where I lived with a roommate and shared a bathroom with four other girls and a hall with even more. I’m used to cramping up between people on long hot road trips and tripping over big tangled piles of sleeping bags and long lines for the restroom because I’m one of about five to eight women that came into the restaurant at the same time. Even before I came to New York, I knew the value of that and I loved every minute I spent with other people. Even if we did nothing but sit in the same room together, reading or sleeping or whatever, I was still used to them being there. I was used to sharing. Forget internet; people are the best source of unlimited entertainment. They’re always changing!
Sometimes it’s nice to have all the novel egg-banana pancakes to yourself. To choose your own movie without having to hear groans or refusal from peers who don’t want to see it. To curl up by yourself with no pressure to go out or do anything when all you want is a little snooze.
But you can’t tell a stranger how wonderful that peach you bought for only 99 cents was and expect them to understand the fun of watching Looney Tunes and Blazing Saddles in the park with your fingers all sticky.
You can’t remind them about that one book on the set of CNN that’s been permanently placed upside-down on the shelf if they didn’t see it for themselves.
You can’t gush about the father and daughter that came into Starbucks and fell fast asleep after a long day out in the city unless you could explain just how worn out these two adorable strangers were.
You can’t laugh about the time you set up camp in the kitchen to work because the wireless stopped reaching the rest of the apartment for a weekend.
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| "Restaurant and Social Club for Explorers and Mad Scientists." Notice the skeletons standing on the roof. |
You can’t crack a joke at the funny club you found or squeal in delight at the sight of stuffed Ninja Turtles in the window of a Build-A-Bear shop.
Or when the subway turns the corner and Coney Island comes into view for the first time and you get to try your first famous Coney Island hot dog.
You can’t gush to someone else about your picnic on Roosevelt Island and know they can fully appreciate it when you say just how fresh and sweet the raspberries were, or how great it was when you tried eating them with fresh-baked brownies. They won’t laugh the same way as you when you talk about running off the island to escape a coming rainstorm.
Wherever I go, whatever I do with my life… in the future, all I know is that I want to do it with somebody by my side. Forget “soul mate” for now; that will happen in its own good time. I want “soul companions.” Brothers and sisters that I’ll get to learn about and serve and laugh alongside and cry with.
If life is like a box of chocolates, what fun is it if you can’t share them?
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